i know that we weren't ment to be but i couldn't help this feeling deep inside as if i were slowing going insane from the inside out i had told myself so many times over and over again that he didn't love me and he never would for he was in love and he had the girl of his dreams and i told myself that i could move on but why must i hurt like a wound so deep in my heart? why do i suffer so for a man who will never love me back? i can't help but crying from the truth it hurts like no other and i've never felt this way but he is clueless to this wound he has so cleanly made upon my heart ... why have i been cursed to a life of no love,how am i to survive all i ever wanted was a happy life and a shoulder to cry upon and yet no matter how much i plea and beg for mercy no love has been put upon me only the hatred of my family and the loss of so many people i dearly loved ..i am what they would call hopeless for i shall never feel happyness nor love nor true joy but i shall always pitty myself with such hatred such annoyance and slowly i am dyeing of it yet i can't help but to think that i will one day be happy and be loved but i'm just tryng to fool myself to make the enivetable truth dissapear,this sadness like the black plague slowly killing me from deep inside out...i know that i am never to be with the man of my dreams every time i try they have already fallen for another girl i'm always too late...didn't i have enough chaos as a child being hurt so many times didn't i pay for his mistake enough? and as i grow older my life only becomes more chaotic and depressing when will god forgive me and let my soul rest why wont the demon that strives so hard to make me give-up figure out that i'll never stop fighting for my life,for love,for anything and everything if i were to die it'd be a pity...